Investing Time With Children And Teenagers

Feature 1 – December 2019 — Grace & Truth Magazine

Investing Time With Children And Teenagers

Investing time with children and teenagers reaps long-term benefits in their lives. King Solomon stated that his father had spent time teaching him (Prov. 4:4), and the result was a king that respected his father and served the L ORD . The opposite is true of another son of David: Absalom. King David had not invested time with Absalom (2 Sam. 14:24), and the result was a son that disrespected his father and did not serve the L ORD .

The Title
Let’s first try to understand the words of our title. If you “invest,” you put something belonging to you into a thing. For example, if you take some of your money and put it into a business, that would be investing. Typically, you would expect some sort of return, or payback, from your investment. People invest in all sorts of things.

The Bible teaches clearly that we reap what we sow (Gal. 6:7-10), and that if we sow bountifully then we will reap bountifully (2 Cor. 9:6). Investing, like sowing, costs us something – time, money or some other thing that we give up.

We put things into our children, such as money, education and training; and sometimes it is easier to give them things rather than our time. Also, we invest time into numerous things: work, education, our spouse, other interests. David gave Absalom many things, but David did not give his time to Absalom, and the result was disastrous. Recognizing this important aspect, this article is about investing time with children and teenagers.

You may say, “I don’t have children so this does not apply to me.” Yet, the article does apply to you. The Bible gives us many examples of people who invested time into children and young people who were not theirs biologically. Jesus spent time with children and encouraged us to do the same (Mt. 19:14). We do not know all the ages of the people in the Bible, but think about the time Paul spent with young Timothy, Moses with Joshua, and Paul with John Mark. Eli, too, spent time with Samuel when he was a little child. Surely, you can find other examples in the Bible too.

God’s Desire: Unite And Build
The Bible is full of instructions to spend time with children. This was certainly important to the Lord Jesus, who often used children as an illustration and had them close to Him (Mt. 18:2; Mk. 9:36). He also invested a lot of time into His disciples, some of whom are thought to have been significantly younger than the Lord. He gave instructions to train children and to bring them up (Eph. 6:4), and those who are older are encouraged to spend time with those who are younger (Ti. 2:4,6).

Training and teaching take time. You cannot train someone if you do not spend a lot of time with him or her. Imagine the desire of the Lord to spend time with us. Remember the many times when He was tired, yet still invested time with His disciples and others (Mk. 6:30-44; Jn. 4:6-26). God is one who is involved in building (1 Cor. 3:9-10; Eph. 2:19-22). Building involves investing and takes a lot of time. How much time do you think the Lord wants to spend with you?

Satan’s Desire: Separate And Destroy
Satan began at the very beginning of the Bible to seek to destroy families. In Genesis 3 he attacked Adam and Eve. In chapter 4 their two sons, Cain and Abel, were impacted by sin, which was a result of their parents’ choices. Throughout Scripture, families were attacked in different ways. One of the key manners in which Satan is successful is when parents fail in their responsibility to invest time in their children.

Early in the story of the children of Israel we find that the enemy wanted to separate families. Moses had told Pharaoh that all of them (young, old, sons and daughters) would go and worship the LORD (Ex. 10:9-11), however, Pharaoh decided that only the men could go. This was against what the Lord had said, and we find that another plague then came upon the Egyptians. Later, the Israelites were all allowed to leave – all of them, together.

Moses said that the only way they would go was if they would go together. He had, no doubt, learned this valuable lesson as a child. The importance of families spending time together is a principle that we find early in Scripture. One of the desires of the enemy is to take away the time that families are together. This can be extremely practical in our lives as parents. Do we participate in activities that allow or encourage us to spend time with our children or do we pursue activities that lead to our families being apart from one another?

Spending Time All The Time
Please read Deuteronomy 6:6-25 (see page 8). There we are shown God’s instructions to Israel about teaching their children. We find in verse 7 that the teaching was supposed to happen all day long: when they were getting up, when they were at home, when they were going out, and when they were going to bed. The parents’ day was supposed to be characterized by spending time with their children and teaching them, not just a few moments in the morning or at the end of the day.

The purpose of teaching or spending time with them was so they would be able to enjoy the land God had for them. Also, the result of spending time in this way was that their children would come to them with questions (v.20). A child or young person who has had time spent with them by their parents will likely come to their parents with questions. The opposite is also true. Can we expect our children to come to us with questions if we have never spent time with them, or if they don’t feel that we want to spend time with them?

Moses
In Exodus 2 we find the story of the early days of the life of Moses. Having been taken from the water by Pharaoh’s daughter, he was then initially raised by his own parents who invested time into their son. This investment later led Moses to choose rather to “suffer affliction with the people of God, than to enjoy the pleasures of sin for a season” (Heb. 11:25 KJV). Even though they only had a short amount of time together, Moses’ parents utilized it so fully that he understood who God was and the importance of his relationship with Him. His parents had invested time into their son, and what a difference it made for Moses and the children of Israel.

Samuel
As we begin 1 Samuel, we read the story of the early years of Samuel’s life. We find a mother who invested time in praying and directing her young son. Later he was characterized as one who “ministered before the LORD” (1 Sam. 2:18) while he was still a young child. Even after Samuel had gone to live in the temple and be with Eli, his mother continued to invest time in him by visiting him and bringing him a new coat each year – and most assuredly praying for him the entire time. Her acts represent the continuous investment of time that is necessary. Investing in children is not something that occurs just once or only when they are young, but it is something that continues over their lifetime and costs others – parents or friends – their time.

David
The record of David is encouraging because it provides an example of a parent who failed but then adjusted his parenting. As mentioned earlier, when you read the story of King David from 2 Samuel 13 to the end of the book you find a father who did not spend time with his children. He did not talk to them when they were doing a wrong thing. He seemed to take the approach of ignoring their sin and perhaps thinking they would grow out of it. David may have also felt guilty about his earlier sin. However, if he had used it as an example for his sons and spent time talking to them, maybe their lives would have been different. Instead he lost his sons Absalom, who was killed (2 Sam. 18:33), and Adonijah, as he sought to exalt himself onto David’s throne (1 Ki. 1:5).

David had not invested time in training Adonijah (v.6). However, for David, all was not lost. David learned from his earlier mistakes and he gave training to Solomon (1 Ki. 2). Solomon, who was given wisdom by God, described in Proverbs 4 how his father had trained and taught him. David could have given up after his earlier mistakes, but he changed his ways.

The Lord is gracious to us too. We often make mistakes as parents, but we can come to the Lord, confess our sin (1 Jn. 1:9) and ask Him to give us wisdom to train our children (Eph. 6:4). Although we may have lost opportunities in the past, we are encouraged to forget those things which are behind and press on (Phil. 3:12-14). Time wasted can never be given back, however, we all have the remaining time before us. How will we utilize that time?

Thoughts To Encourage
We can begin to spend time each day with our children, investing in their spiritual development. We should also spend time in developing all areas of their lives and creating a relationship with them that will bring rich blessings later. Remember the verses in Galatians 6:7-9: we will reap what we sow. If you invest no time in your children, what do you think will be the result? The Lord may have also put other young people around you with whom you can invest time. Do not neglect them. Some of us may be separated from our children due to various circumstances. If you cannot physically spend time with your children today, how can you still invest time? Here are a few suggestions:

1. Pray for them.
2. Write letters to your children or other young people.
3. Utilize technology to spend time with them.
4. Call them on the phone!

Do not allow prior mistakes to take away the opportunity to interact with your children. Pray and ask the Lord to give you ideas and to open up doors so you will have a positive influence in the life of your child.

Sometimes it is helpful to have some practical suggestions for spending time with our children. Try to have your children with you in as many activities as possible. These would include times when you meet with other Christians, go shopping, work outside or make visits. You may want to consider having unique time periods with children where you can talk to them one on one. Perhaps taking them out for a special meal, a drive in a car or another activity that you know would give you time to talk with your child or teenager.

In conclusion, it is critical for us to “redeem the time” with the children and teenagers the Lord brings into our lives. While we can sow and water, we need to remember that it is the Lord who gives the increase (1 Cor 3:7).

By David Pickering

Deuteronomy 6:6-25NKJV
6 “And these words which I command you today shall be in your heart. 7 You shall teach them diligently to your children, and shall talk of them when you sit in your house, when you walk by the way, when you lie down, and when you rise up. 8 You shall bind them as a sign on your hand, and they shall be as frontlets between your eyes. 9 You shall write them on the doorposts of your house and on your gates. 10 “So it shall be, when the LORD your God brings you into the land of which He swore to your fathers, to Abraham, Isaac, and Jacob, to give you large and beautiful cities which you did not build, 11 houses full of all good things, which you did not fill, hewn-out wells which you did not dig, vineyards and olive trees which you did not plant – when you have eaten and are full – 12 then beware, lest you forget the LORD who brought you out of the land of Egypt, from the house of bondage. 13 You shall fear the LORD your God and serve Him, and shall take oaths in His name. 14 You shall not go after other gods, the gods of the peoples who are all around you 15 (for the LORD your God is a jealous God among you), lest the anger of the LORD your God be aroused against you and destroy you from the face of the earth. 16 “You shall not tempt the LORD your God as you tempted Him in Massah. 17 You shall diligently keep the commandments of the LORD your God, His testimonies, and His statutes which He has commanded you. 18 And you shall do what is right and good in the sight of the LORD, that it may be well with you, and that you may go in and possess the good land of which the Lord swore to your fathers, 19 to cast out all your enemies from before you, as the LORD has spoken. 20 “When your son asks you in time to come, saying, “What is the meaning of the testimonies, the statutes, and the judgments which the LORDour God has commanded you?” 21 then you shall say to your son: “We were slaves of Pharaoh in Egypt, and the LORD brought us out of Egypt with a mighty hand; 22 and the LORD showed signs and wonders before our eyes, great and severe, against Egypt, Pharaoh, and all his household. 23 Then He brought us out from there, that He might bring us in, to give us the land of which He swore to our fathers. 24 And the LORD commanded us to observe all these statutes, to fear the LORD our God, for our good always, that He might preserve us alive, as it is this day. 25 Then it will be righteousness for us, if we are careful to observe all these commandments before the LORD our God, as He has commanded us.”