Precious Time With One’s Children

Feature 3 – December 2019 – Grace & Truth Magazine

Precious Time With One’s Children

We are not told to train our children to ask questions; they do this naturally. Instead, we are to “bring them up in the nurture and admonition of the Lord” (Eph. 6:4 KJV ). Very soon after our children learn their first words they begin to ask questions. It is as if their concept forming mechanism goes into action and demands that everything we experience be categorized and memorized.

If we are able to satisfy our little children’s God-given curiosity, how much more will that curiosity grow into maturity? There will be a searching for an understanding of God and what He has done. We grow as we get more interested.

To see parents and their children sharing things together is a delight – holding hands, playing, or carrying on a conversation. These give us hope for the children’s future and joy to the parents who so clearly love and delight in them.

Academia, often at odds with Christian thinking and values, has totally confirmed the importance of these early relationships. In the 1950’s, John Bowlby in his book Child Care and the Growth of Love showed the necessity for close physical and verbal contact between parents and child. Without this – especially when feeding the baby – the youngster may not grow up to be able to give or to receive love. A little later, Professor Bernstein at London University claimed conversation involving the whole family was essential for the intellectual and emotional growth of the child. Without this, children are restricted in their language and learning.

The activity in the family is key to the stimulation of our God-given talents. These simply cannot develop without encouragement within the family or from other adults important to the child. However, family is what God provided; this is where Christians have a great responsibility. People may not listen to nor want to hear from us the things of God, but they will watch how we conduct ourselves and, in particular, how we bring up our children.

Children are a very precious gift from God. “Lo, children are an heritage from the LORD: and the fruit of the womb is His reward. As arrows are in the hand of a mighty man; so are children of the youth. Happy is the man that hath his quiver full of them: they shall not be ashamed, but they shall speak with the enemies in the gate” (Ps. 127:3-5).

So loved by God are little children that He has given us a special hormone which serves to bond couples more closely in the institution of marriage. The hormone is also secreted during childbirth and bonds the mother with the baby, and the baby with the mother. Hormones also come into play during the interaction of family life, so father, mother and children become a powerful unit attached closely to one another.

Satan has his ways of subverting our family life, and it is clear that social climbing, ambitions for worldly success and wealth may be used to keep family members apart or isolated. We must remember that the family is designed by God and is crucial. Guard and keep the family unit with all your devotion and strength. Heed the proverb: “Better is a dinner of herbs where love is, than a stalled ox and hatred therewith” (Prov. 15:17).

When the disciples wanted the Lord Jesus to be spared the interruptions of mothers and children, He corrected them, saying, “Suffer little children, and forbid them not, to come unto Me: for of such is the kingdom of heaven. And He laid His hands on them” (Mt. 19:14-15). He also issued a stern warning: “Whoso shall receive one such little child in My name receiveth Me. But whoso shall offend one of these little ones which believe in Me, it were better for him that a millstone were hanged about his neck, and that he were drowned in the depth of the sea ... Take heed that ye despise not one of these little ones; for I say unto you. That in heaven their angels do always behold the face of My Father which is in heaven” (Mt. 18:5-6,10). Children are very special to God!

That children have this natural capacity for love and learning we find in the Lord Jesus at the age of 12. His parents were clearly distraught at discovering he was missing. “They sought Him among their kinsfolk and acquaintance. And when they found Him not, they turned back again to Jerusalem, seeking Him” (Lk. 2:44-45). At that time, children were accustomed to spend time with extended family and neighbors.

The Lord was clearly asserting His new status, that of a Jewish boy moving into manhood. He was also demonstrating that His mission in life was above that of loyalty to family and friend. They eventually found Him in the temple, “sitting in the midst of the doctors, both hearing them, and asking them questions” (v.46). He was not, as He has been pictured, teaching the rabbis. Rather, He was learning from them. Therefore He is the ideal example for our own children; something we ought to take seriously to heart.

Paul, writing to the church at Ephesus, had this advice for fathers: “And, ye fathers, provoke not your children to wrath: but bring them up in the nurture and admonition of the Lord” (Eph. 6:4). Being overly strict is clearly as bad as being too indulgent.

The psalmist warned about Babylonish culture (see Rev. 18:1-8) in a special and striking way, which does not at first glance seem to have anything to do with childrearing: “O daughter of Babylon, who art to be destroyed; happy shall he be, that rewardeth thee as thou has served us. Happy shall he be, that taketh and dasheth thy little one against the stones” (Ps. 137:8-9). This seems to be encouraging the barbarians and their uncivilized behavior. However, a little reflection will tell us that growing up in a Babylon-like environment is not suitable for a child, since he or she will undoubtedly become a child of hell.

David wept for his child by Bathsheba, but God took him. Still, David knew that he would go to be with the child, but he would not come back to David (2 Sam. 12:15-23). The babies of Babylon will go to be with God in the bliss and joy of heaven. God allows the barbarians delivering His judgment to Babylon to be His means of bringing the little ones to Him.

Bringing up children is one of the most difficult tasks parents can perform – and it is a full time job! We do not have special training for it, but God prepares us by giving the capabilities and capacity to learn quickly and to rectify mistakes, which we all make. It may be difficult, but it is a privilege and a joy as well. We might worry about the results, yet the love and power of the Lord Jesus, of God the Father and of the Holy Spirit are always there. Most importantly, God loves our little ones more than we ever can.

By Roger Penney