Growing Up, Raised By Others

Feature 1 – December 2023 – Grace & Truth Magazine

Growing Up, Raised By Others

Let’s explore together the interesting subject of children raised by individuals who are not their natural parents. Looking at Scripture, we will see God’s hand in such situations and the choices of those impacted by this experience. In some cases, the growing up years took place in an unbelieving home environment and was a result of natural parents being unable to raise their children due to special circumstances. Moses is one example of this situation. In other situations, such as Esther, both of her parents had died and other relatives stepped in to fill the void. How did these children overcome and live for the Lord as adults, even though their early years of growing up were so challenging?

Hopefully we will learn that faithfulness is not a result of our upbringing alone. Faithfulness is a choice each believer must make: either follow the Lord, or go the way of the world. The examples we will use show good and bad outcomes. We can learn from their faithfulness as well as the mistakes of others in the past. Holy Scripture provides both good and bad examples to teach us God’s will and ways.

Moses
Our first example is Moses. In Exodus 1–2 we learn of Moses’ birth, the circumstances regarding it and the first years of his life. He was born in Egypt among the children of Israel, who were under the control of Pharaoh, an evil unbeliever. Moses was the third child of his faithful parents. They refused to take his life, contrary to Pharaoh’s order regarding all newborn male Hebrew children at that time (Ex. 1:22). By faith, Moses’ natural parents hid and protected him for three months.

As time went on, they could not continue to hide him. Through a series of circumstances and God’s providence, Moses as a little baby was introduced to Pharaoh’s daughter, who showed compassion on him, and his natural parents were given more time to nurture him (2:7-10). No doubt, God was using these very early years to impress upon Moses his Hebrew roots and the necessity of faith in the one true living God. The daughter of Pharaoh became Moses’ surrogate parent, in place of his biological father and mother. She was an unbeliever and would, no doubt, raise Moses in the unbelieving and idolatrous ways of Egypt. In Acts 7:22 (NKJV) we read: “Moses was learned in all the wisdom of the Egyptians, and was mighty in words and deeds.”

Moses took a stand for the LORD when he was 40 years old, but it was done in a wrong way: defending a fellow Hebrew by killing his Egyptian oppressor (Ex. 2:11-15; Acts 7:23-29). Because of Moses’ actions, Pharaoh sought to kill him, and Moses fled from Egypt. Nonetheless, God was in control and led Moses into a region of Midian, where he would live another 40 years. During those years Moses unlearned the ways of Egypt, which is a type of the world. He married and had a family, become a shepherd and learned God’s ways through this humble profession.

Finally, at the age of 80 years old, Moses was called by God for the purpose of delivering His people from Egypt. There were many things that had happened to Moses to reach this point, and God’s perfect timing and God’s mercy toward His people were all part of God’s plan.

Hebrews 11:23-29 gives more insight about Moses’ faith. He rejected the world and its treasures. Moses refused the passing pleasures of sin and chose to identify himself with the people of God, suffering with them. He esteemed the reproach of Christ to be far greater riches than anything the world could offer him. By faith, Moses gained endurance by seeing Him who is invisible! Now, God could and would use him. We learn that there was a great deliverance brought about by Moses and his leadership: the Lord used him to lead the children of Israel out of Egypt and into the wilderness to worship God. How wonderful to see this result!

Reviewing, we see that Moses’ training at a very early age by his Hebrew parents was never forgotten. The instruction he received and influences during the remainder of his upbringing through Pharaoh’s daughter and the worldly Egyptian system did not tempt Moses to live that way. Although he was given the best education the world had to offer, he recognized that following the Lord was far more important. Temporary earthly treasures and sinful pleasures cannot be compared to what the Lord promises to those who believe and follow the Lord’s pathway. Moses was willing to give up a place of privilege in order to please God, a decision made by faith. Once Moses had been delivered from himself in the land of Midian, he could then be used to deliver God’s people from the land of Egypt.

Even if raised by others who do not know the Lord, we do not have to follow them in unfaithfulness and disobedience. Following the Lord Jesus Christ is a personal decision every one of us must make on our own. This is true regardless of our early years. May we be like Moses in following the Lord. This is the pathway of blessing for each of us.

Lot
From Genesis 11:31 onward we learn of Abram’s (later called Abraham) nephew Lot. Lot’s father, Haran, died when Lot was very young, while living in Ur of the Chaldeans (11:28). This was a place where any and all people worshiped idols. We are not given the exact age of Lot when this took place, but we know afterward the extended family, including Abram’s father Terah, relocated to a place that would be called Haran, after the name of Terah’s deceased third son. Terah lived 70 years and died in Haran. During this time Abram assumed the role of a father to his nephew, Lot.

Beginning in Genesis 12 we see the relationship of Lot toward his surrogate father, Abram. Lot went wherever Abram did, and he lived in the good of Abram’s faith. He enjoyed God’s blessings by being with Abram, but we do not notice any personal open display of faith on his own part. Lot reminds us of the spiritual challenges one can face in such a situation. His father had died, and he was being trained and taught by his uncle, who had great faith. Would he live the same as Abram?

Sorry to report that as the story unfolds we see Lot living a very worldly life. He coveted material blessings and desired to live in the world and be part of its system. When given a choice to pick a place to graze his animals, Lot chose what was best for himself, not considering Abram who allowed him to make the choice, and settled in the land of Sodom and Gomorrah. Later, the cities were conquered during a war (Gen. 14). After Abram rescued Lot from the enemies, we read of Lot living in Sodom. Lot had to have a city where the world and its system could supply what he wanted. However, the city, seemingly used by Lot as a substitute for trusting in God, was immoral.

God in His mercy delivered Lot from the terrible judgment He poured out upon Sodom and Gomorrah. Even after this deliverance, we see Lot trying to answer his own prayers and seek for a city different from the one where God had told him to go (19:21-22). How sad! These events in Lot’s life led to more failure (vv.30-38). The descendants produced from Lot’s sin resulted in more enemies of God’s people: the Moabites and Ammonites.

When we look at the story of Lot we would hardly think He was a believer. Nothing in his life recorded in Genesis suggests he knew the LORD personally. Coming to 2 Peter 2:4,7-8 we read: “God … delivered righteous Lot, who was oppressed by the filthy conduct of the wicked (for that righteous man, dwelling among them, tormented his righteous soul from day to day by seeing and hearing their lawless deeds).” He is then referred to as being “godly” (v.9)! If it were not for these verses in the New Testament, we would not really know that Lot was a true believer. Praise God that he was a true believer, but oh, how disappointing is the way he lived his life!

Lessons from the life of Lot are many. Lot lived his life primarily by following along with the faith of another, which, when Lot was tested, exposed the weakness of his faith. How often we see young people raised in a Christian environment later deciding to live for this world, when the influence of faithfulness is no longer in their lives. The result is nothing for God, nothing for eternity, and no blessing from Him. This, too, is very sad!

Although exposed to a faithful father figure, Lot chose to live as the world lived. Being raised by a Christian does not make you a Christian, whether or not the Christian is your natural parent. We must make a conscious decision to live for the Lord ourselves. Lot’s life was largely wasted, spiritually speaking. Although we will see him one day in heaven, he is not an example for us to follow! May the Lord help us follow the good examples He places in our lives.

Samuel
The first 24 chapters of 1 Samuel give us the details of Samuel’s life. He was a faithful and great prophet, used mightily by God during his lifetime. Samuel provides us an example of one who was raised by an unfaithful believer, who was in a place of responsibility among God’s people.

The story begins with a family and a barren wife, Hannah. Hannah loved the LORD, but she had no children. She prayed for a child – a son – whom she promised to lend to the LORD (1:11,28).

In time, Hannah was blessed with a son, and she called him “Samuel” (v.20), which means “heard by God.” This is nice to see: a woman of faith naming her child as a never-ending testimony to answered prayer. She weaned the boy and instilled in him the fear of the LORD. After a short period she brought the child to be raised by Eli, the priest. Hannah kept her promise to devote her only son to the LORD; then the LORD blessed her with five more children, after Eli prayed for the family (2:20-21).

Under the parenting of Eli, Samuel remained faithful despite the great unfaithfulness in Eli and his family. Samuel did not follow the bad examples: Eli was spiritually weak, and his two natural sons practiced sin by committing adultery. They also took for themselves part of the sacrificial offerings that belonged only to the Lord. Eli did not discipline his unfaithful children, and finally God stepped in and judged his two sons by taking their lives (4:17). Their father Eli also died when he was told about this judgment upon his two sons and the capture of the ark (v.18).

As Samuel progressed in the things of the LORD, we see him given more and more responsibilities in serving among God’s chosen people. He would cause the people to repent (7:2-17). He acted as a priest by offering sacrifices unto the LORD on behalf of the people. He filled the roles of judging Israel and helping the people remain faithful. Samuel traveled a yearly circuit to make himself available as a judge. He was also used by God to anoint David as God’s chosen king, learning from this experience that God does not look at the outward appearance but at the heart.

We may apply the life of Samuel to ourselves. If we were raised by unfaithful Christians we need not use this as an excuse to follow in their footsteps. Yes, we are thankful that they believe in the Lord Jesus, but we do not walk in their unfaithfulness. In order to do the Lord’s will, we need to know God’s Word and have a healthy prayer life, which characterized Samuel’s young years. May we be like Samuel. Many doors of service opportunities opened up for him as he remained faithful, and God will do the same for each one of us if we continue being faithful.

Esther
The story of Esther is another wonderful example for us. She was raised by her uncle Mordecai, who loved the LORD (Est. 2:7). Esther lived during the captivity of God’s people, when they experienced the chastisement of the LORD for their sins and were exiled to a foreign land, subject to that government. These authorities were idol worshipers who did not fear the one true living God, but Esther had been raised to believe in and fear the LORD.

All through the book of Esther we see her submissive demeanor. She was a woman who displayed faith by example and word, and was very aware of her origins. This was a tribute to the faithfulness of her uncle and the way he raised her. She displayed humility (v.15); even though she was very beautiful, she was not conceited. Esther obeyed the wisdom she received through her uncle, and she came to realize that God had placed her into a unique situation at the perfect time to accomplish His will and to preserve His people. Mordecai told her, “Who knows whether you have come to the kingdom for such a time as this?” (4:14). What Mordecai said helped motivate Esther, then queen, to risk her life and seek an opportunity to speak with the king.

Esther learned as a young girl to obey the authorities God placed in her life. Mordecai was one of those authorities and acted as a father to her. He instructed her about her people and the living God, who was in charge of everything. At an early age, she did not focus upon her physical attractiveness; she did not allow her beauty to make her proud. Esther accepted the changes that God allowed in her life due to the captivity and sought a way to use her influence for good, to help God’s people. God elevated her to become queen during the kingdom of the Medes and Persians. She was used of the LORD to save her people, and she saw Him elevate her uncle Mordecai to a high political position through the king’s appointment. Finally, she witnessed the destruction of her people’s enemies, as commanded by the king.

Adopted Children Of God
While there are many things we could write about this unusual topic, we want to be sure to encourage ourselves with the blessed truth that every believer has been adopted into the family of God, being at one time spiritual orphans. The Lord Jesus said in John 14:18, “I will not leave you orphans; I will come to you.” He then promised us the indwelling Holy Spirit, who seals (Eph. 1:13) each believer as His own. Every believer possesses the Holy Spirit at the moment of conversion (Rom. 8:9). We are part of the family of God and we have a heavenly Father. We are co-heirs with the Lord Jesus Christ (v.17), who has saved us. He calls us His “brethren,” and He is “not ashamed” to call us by that name (Heb. 2:11)!

When we see the spiritual significance of our adoption we recognize that even if we had been raised by our natural parents, we can still apply the lessons of these examples. We know that every believer has been brought along by the mercy of God, and He has allowed each one of us a unique upbringing for His purpose and His glory. It is the Lord’s desire that we do not make excuses, even if our early years were more challenging than those of others, and that we trust in the Lord and follow Him no matter what we face. Beloved, may we be faithful!

By Bill Kulkens

You have lately been led to trust the Son of God as your Savior, and your most earnest desire is to glorify Him in your life. Well, let me whisper in your ear the secret of doing this: Keep in the place God has set you. In our individual lives it is the trying to be what we are not, the seeking to have what God has not given us, that brings so much sorrow to us and others. Those who keep in the place that God has set them in are the ones He advances. David, the shepherd lad, carefully guarded the sheep from the lion and the bear, and when the time came, God chose him to slay the giant. He was faithful in private; he was honored in public. We all, generally speaking, want to wear bigger boots, and the attempt to wear them works havoc in our lives and in the Church. The child gets bigger boots because day by day he grows and needs them. The only way to attain greater things is to be faithful in little things; to graduate for the future you must address yourself to the present. But while we say this, it is not with a view to our being great in the future that we must be faithful in the present. No; our aim should be to glorify God just at the moment; for the past is irrevocable, the future is not ours, the present is our sole opportunity. —A. J. Pollock (adapted)