The Family
Family – February 2014 – Grace & Truth Magazine
The Family
The family is a wonderful provision that God has established for the wellbeing of mankind. While the earth remains, the family unit is sanctioned and upheld by God (Gen. 5:1-2, 10:1-5). God created people as male and female, and He blessed them. A husband and his wife are the foundation of a family. Since God has instituted the family unit, we can rest assured that guidelines are given in His Word to help us conduct ourselves in a manner that answers to His purpose for us individually.
A striking set of instructions is seen in Deuteronomy 6, where God addresses the nation of Israel: “You shall love the Lord your God with all your heart, with all your soul, and with all your strength. And these words which I command you today shall be in your heart. You shall teach them diligently to your children, and shall talk of them when you sit in your house, when you walk by the way, when you lie down, and when you rise up. You shall bind them as a sign on your hand, and they shall be as frontlets between your eyes. You shall write them on the doorposts of your house and on your gates” (vv.5-9 NKJV).
These explicit directions cover all the bases. Take note what is of first importance in guiding my own house: it is having a right relationship with the Lord – a love relationship. Here rests the secret of peace and happiness in every Christian home. If I am enjoying fellowship with the Lord and walking with Him, this will have an influence on all who dwell in my home. The members of the family will share in this joy. When I realize that in me “nothing good dwells” (Rom. 7:18) and that without the Lord I can do nothing, I am compelled to turn away from myself and lean on Him. I will then be able to say, “I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me” (Phil. 4:13).
Returning to Deuteronomy, let’s note each of the points.
1. “You shall teach them diligently to your children.” It is important for us as parents to convey to our family, by the way we speak and conduct ourselves in the home, a reverential fear and trust in God and His Word, the Bible. In Isaiah 66:2 we read: “But on this one will I look: On him who is poor and of a contrite spirit, and who trembles at My word.”
2. “Talk of them when you sit in your house, and when you walk by the way.” Notice the difference in talking to them (children) and talking of them (commandments) to your children. This is having a conversation with the children about what the Bible teaches and how to apply this in a day-to-day environment. Our heavenly Father knows that we are living in very difficult times and that the enemy, Satan, seeks to derail us from following the Lord in obedience to His Word (2 Tim. 3:1). It is important for parents to make every effort to maintain an open heart and door, being available for the child or young adult. They need someone to confide in; to share their joys, expectations, and disappointments; and to speak to when in trouble. Make your children feel they are wanted and appreciated – that you care about them and for them.
3. “When you lie down and when you rise up.” God takes into account that we need time to rest: “Come aside by yourselves to a deserted place and rest a while” (Mk. 6:31). Jesus said this to His disciples while the multitudes were milling about as sheep not having a shepherd. The Lord did not say “go aside by yourselves” but “come aside by yourselves” a while. He had no thought of leaving them alone. How exquisitely beautiful this is! When there are troubles in your life, home, or the gathering of the Lord’s people, spend time alone with the Lord Jesus Christ. He said, “Come to Me, all you who labor and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest. Take My yoke upon you and learn from Me, for I am gentle and lowly in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For My yoke is easy and My burden is light” (Mt. 11:28-30).
4. “Bind them as a sign on your hand and they shall be as frontlets between your eyes.” God is addressing the fathers, the spiritual heads of their homes, but this applies to both parents. They were to bind His statutes and commandments as a sign upon their hands, not the hands of the children, and likewise they shall be as frontlets between their eyes, not the eyes of the children. The character of the shepherd is seen here. A shepherd who drives the sheep, not being known of them, turns around and sees no one behind him. But a true shepherd, who cares for his sheep is known by them. They know his voice, and they follow him because the rod and staff are in his hands. The rod is needed to ward off the wolves, while the staff is needed to restrain the sheep in their tendency to run their own way. Parents are to guide their children, leading them according to the commandments of the Lord with the single eye of spiritual discernment.
Abraham, called the friend of God, received a wonderful commendation when the outcry against Sodom and Gomorrah was great and their sin was very grave – a time very similar to today’s world. God said, “I have known him, in order that he command his children and his household after him, that they keep the way of the LORD” (Gen. 18:19). Some who read this may be struggling and feel defeated at times, but take courage; the Lord is a very present help in times of trouble (Ps. 46:1). If we, through lack of watchfulness, are drawn away from the Lord, there is need to repent and return to the point of departure and have the joy of the Lord restored.
5. “You shall write them on the doorposts of your house and on your gates.” Now the influence of the home reaches out into the public. What sheltered Israel on the night when the angel of the LORD slew the firstborn in Egypt was the blood of the lamb on the doorpost and on the lintel. God saw the blood and knew that justice had been satisfied. So while the angel of the LORD passed by, the Israelite was at the dinner table with his family, enjoying the roast lamb. What a feast for them all to enjoy! The youngest child would receive a small portion, a tender piece, while an adult would have a larger portion. There was enough for all. What they had enjoyed within the house became a living testimony of feeding on Christ (God’s Lamb). Deuteronomy tells us to “write them on the doorposts of your house and on your gates.” The testimony goes beyond the door of the house for the public eye to see. Are the beautiful features of Christ seen emanating forth from our homes? Or is there discontent, resentment, quarrelling, party-spirit, evil speaking, and such within our homes? That would be a great dishonor to the name of the Lord Jesus. Our testimony would be something like that of a house built on the sand. When the rains came down and the floods came up, the house on the sand fell flat (Mt. 7:24-27).
Let us look at another Old Testament example. Manoah inquired of the LORD (Jud. 13:12), “What will be the boy’s rule of life, and his work?” Both Manoah and his barren wife understood from the message they had received from the angel of the LORD that she would conceive and bear a son, and that he would be a very special child. Every child is special in God’s eyes. It is commendable if parents inquire of the Lord how to train up a child. Generally when we are young we are self-confident and slow to accept advice. On the other hand those who are quick to give advice are not always wise in the counsel they offer nor the manner in which they offer it. But one thing is certain: The counsel God gives is gentle and loving, not abrasive. It is very effective and trustworthy. “Trust in the LORD with all your heart, and lean not on your own understanding. In all your ways acknowledge Him, and He shall direct your paths” (Prov. 3:5-6).
In training children, as in almost everything else, we are strongly influenced by the culture in which we have grown up. God’s Word bridges, or applies in, all cultures. It is a proven fact that wherever Christianity has spread its influence through the centuries many favorable changes have taken place. Today the tide has turned and, without the fear of God, we are witnessing the breakdown of social order as it is being replaced by moral corruption, violence and the perverting of Christian liberty (read 2 Pet. 2:19-22). The great danger for Christian parents is to go along with the tide!
There are many conflicting voices sending out their signals, each one demanding attention. But the still, small voice is rarely heard. What advice can be given that is reliable? The apostle Paul warned the Corinthian saints, “But I fear, lest somehow, as the serpent deceived Eve by his craftiness, so your minds may be corrupted from the simplicity that is in Christ” (2 Cor. 11:3). When we think of the high standard that God sets before us, none of us would dare say we have achieved that goal. But God’s standard does not change. The benchmark, His point of reference, is Christ, and He changes not! This is the daily challenge we face: “Not that I have already attained, or am already perfected; but I press on, that I may lay hold of that for which Christ Jesus has also laid hold of me” (Phil. 3:12).
By Jacob Redekop