I Don’t Understand, But ...

“Praise be to the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of compassion and the God of all comfort, who comforts us in all our troubles, so that we can comfort those in any trouble with the comfort we ourselves have received from God.” 2 Corinthians 1:3-4I Don’t Understand, But ... I was taking a walk with a young father who had just lost his job in a most unfair and humiliating way. While he was telling me his story, I said, “I know what you’re going through,” and began telling him of a similar trial earlier in my life. I knew my attempt to comfort him wasn’t working when he said, “You don’t understand. That was then, this is now.” This personal experience taught me that the least effective comments to make to one who is suffering are “I understand” and “I know what you’re going through.” Even though we may have experienced pain, sorrow, and loss similar to the sufferer before us, we are not that person, so we can’t really “understand” or “know.” Yet in spite of our failures, the verses above, the subject of this month’s feature articles, tell us that we should be able to comfort others “in any trouble.” Note also that they tell us how: not by attempting to identify with the hurting one, but by sharing with them the “comfort we ourselves have received from God.” And how can we do that? By letting Christ control our response, because we are told that it is only “through Christ that our comfort overflows” (2 Cor. 1:5). The next time we are with someone who is hurting, instead of saying “I understand” when we really don’t, let’s be honest and tell them we don’t know what they are going through, but we will listen if they want to talk. Then, when Christ gives opportunity, we can share with them “the Father of compassion and the God of all comfort.” He is the only one who can truly say “I understand.” He is the only one who can comfort “in any trouble.” By Larry Ondrejack