Lessons From Abigail

Feature 1 – May 2025 – Grace & Truth Magazine

Lessons From Abigail

Abigail shines as one of the brightest lights of the Old Testament. When we first read about her in 1 Samuel 25, the throne of Israel was occupied by Saul, a man of the flesh who was guided by pride, jealousy, insecurity and anger. At home, Abigail’s husband Nabal was also a man of the flesh, guided by many of the same characteristics as Saul. Both men despised David, the one whom God had already chosen to be king.

Abigail, a woman of grace, had great interest in David, the man after God’s own heart. Her story is intertwined with his. Yet, in 1 Samuel 25, David is not seen primarily as a picture of Christ – except for a few glimpses. Instead, he is a picture of the believer who has to live in a difficult, unjust world. Like Asaph in Psalm 73, David’s feet nearly slipped because of the arrogance of the wicked. It is Abigail who steadied him and prevented spiritual failure.

Have you, like David, ever been angered because the wicked prosper? Have you ever considered trying to set things right, but on your own terms? If so – and perhaps we all must answer, “Yes” – then the story of Abigail’s godly grace and wisdom is for you.

The Background To The Story
In order to get to know Abigail, we must first observe David. He had been living for some time as a fugitive from King Saul. At one point David said, “There is but a step between me and death” (1 Sam. 20:3 NKJV). As a result, he and a few hundred men, also distressed for various reasons (22:2), sought refuge in the wilderness. They had some difficult experiences. Moreover, as we enter 1 Samuel 25, the prophet Samuel had just died, and that too must have been a grief to David, since it was Samuel who had anointed him as king. The opening verse of this chapter seems to imply it was because of Samuel’s death that “David arose and went down to the Wilderness of Paran” (v.1).

There, in the wilderness, David and those with him arrived in Carmel and came upon the shepherds and flocks belonging to Nabal, Abigail’s wealthy husband. Nabal evidently managed his sheep-herding business from his home a few miles away in Maon. Since David had also been a shepherd, no doubt he felt that he was a kindred spirit with them. David and his men protected Nabal’s possessions, and the shepherds appreciated this care. “The men were very good to us,” they remembered later, “and we were not hurt, nor did we miss anything as long as we accompanied them, when we were in the fields. They were a wall to us both by night and day, all the time we were with them keeping the sheep” (vv.15-16).

It is beautiful to make this testimony our own when we consider the Lord Jesus, that Great Shepherd of God’s sheep. He, as the Good Shepherd, has given His life for us (Jn. 10:11), and we know His daily care as the Shepherd and Overseer of our souls (1 Pet. 2:25). He is indeed very good to us! He is a wall to us by night and by day, and no movement against His sheep can be made without His notice.

There is a further point to appreciate as well. Among God’s people today, some are spiritually equipped by the Lord to do pastoral work, which is really a spiritual service of care among God’s people. As revealed through Paul and Peter, it involves noticing the needs of other Christians, watching over them, and shepherding them (Acts 20:28; 1 Pet. 5:2). With this in mind, we notice in 1 Samuel 25 that David and his men helped not only the sheep but also the shepherds. It is good to realize that shepherds also need care and protection! If ever the Lord gives us the privilege of participating in the pastoral care of His people, let us remember to depend on Him for our own spiritual well-being too.

Returning to 1 Samuel 25, after all his service toward the sheep and the shepherds, David asked Nabal for some token of favor in return. However, Nabal replied with insult and disdain. This filled David with anger. Intending a murderous revenge, David led 400 of his men toward Nabal’s estate with their swords at the ready. “Surely in vain I have protected all that this fellow has in the wilderness,” David said. “He has repaid me evil for good” (v.21).

David’s words were accurate. However, his angry response to Nabal’s mockery shows that his motives for service were not entirely pure. Rather than being moved by kindness or compassion, David had expected favor from Nabal. David’s good had been repaid with evil, and the injustice of this was more than David could bear.

How easily the same attitude arises in our hearts! If we expect the world or even fellow believers to applaud us, our intentions are wrong; and wrong motives will always cause us to become easily offended. Instead, may we be divinely taught by God’s grace, which tells us, “Do not be overcome by evil” (Rom. 12:21).

Abigail’s Grace
When Abigail was informed that David was coming in anger, she met him with an overwhelming display of grace. She brought a gift of 200 loaves of bread and five sheep already prepared, along with wine, grain, clusters of raisins, and cakes of figs (1 Sam. 25:18). The gift represented her desire that the LORD would hold David back from bloodshed (v.26), and David received it in that spirit (vv.32-35).

Nabal’s ungrateful response to David’s kindness is like the sinner’s ungrateful reaction to “the kindness and the love of God our Savior” (Ti. 3:4). But then David reacted to Nabal the way the law responds to the sinner: girding its sword upon its thigh and seeking vengeance. A righteous judgment was on the horizon, but it would have destroyed Nabal. Abigail’s grace came on the scene to preserve Nabal’s life, just as God’s grace has intervened to deliver us from the claims of the law.

Apart from that application, however, the main interpretation of this text shows the necessity of grace in our daily relationships. The need was urgent! David told Abigail that he would have slaughtered Nabal’s entire household “unless you had hurried and come to meet me” (v.34). God used the grace of Abigail to intervene in this situation, and David later realized how much better it was to let the LORD plead his cause (v.39). May we all be willing to rush in with grace, for that is how we can “overcome evil with good” (Rom. 12:21).

Abigail’s Wisdom
In addition to the gifts Abigail offered to David, she brought beautiful words of godly wisdom (1 Sam. 25:27-31). She declared her confidence that God would establish David as king and give him an enduring house. She added, “My lord fights the battles of the Lord, and evil is not found in you throughout your days” (v.28). Thus she affirmed David’s victories as well as his integrity. Evidently Abigail had long been attentive to every mention of David’s glories despite his rejection by Saul. We too will be well established if we store up every mention of the Savior.

However, at this stage David was far from illustrating Christ’s meekness and humility. He was on the brink of permanently tarnishing his reputation. Abigail wisely observed that the revenge he sought would lead only to guilt and grief later. Her desire was this: “When the LORD has done for my lord according to all the good that He has spoken concerning you … this will be no grief to you … that you have shed blood without cause” (vv.30-31).

Here is a lesson for us as well. David had been mocked and his pride wounded, but a vengeful response would have led to sin. The Scriptures are clear that shedding blood without cause is one of the things God hates. “These six things the LORD hates, yes, seven are an abomination to Him: … hands that shed innocent blood” (Prov. 6:16-17). Indeed Nabal had acted proudly and selfishly, but that would not have justified David’s revenge. Through godly wisdom, Abigail calmed David and stopped him from permanently damaging his testimony. We too must depend on godly wisdom so that a reckless moment does not become an enduring memory of sorrow.

Abigail’s Endurance
Along with Abigail’s grace and wisdom, she provides an example in the very practical matter of strength to endure in a difficult marriage. To David she said, “Please, let not my lord regard this scoundrel Nabal. For as his name is, so is he: Nabal is his name, and folly is with him!” (1 Sam. 25:25).

The word “scoundrel” is literally “a son of Belial,” a Hebrew idiom meaning a corrupt, worthless person. “Nabal” sounds like the Hebrew word for “fool.” What depths of frustration Abigail must have felt if she would publicly call her husband both a scoundrel and a fool! As a scoundrel, Nabal’s character was corrupt and worthless; and as a fool, he possessed no godly wisdom, whether in business or at home. Abigail was certainly neither a scoundrel nor a fool, and this inequality in their relationship led only to strife.

We do not know any details about Abigail’s early days of marriage. It could be that she had once been just as materialistic and selfish as Nabal, yet somehow she had been transformed by God’s wisdom and grace. Perhaps Nabal had been a fine, God-fearing man when they married but then became arrogant and selfish as his wealth grew. We see similar examples around us today, even among God’s people.

Regardless of what had taken place, Abigail’s behavior was honorable now. When she prepared a gift for David, it was not an act of independence but an attempt to preserve her husband’s life. Later, when Nabal became literally unresponsive. Abigail did not take advantage of his condition to flee the marriage. Only after Nabal’s death did she become David’s wife (vv.37-41). It is one of God’s principles that the marriage bond is sacred. A wife who has begun to fear the Lord might win her husband by her actions even if he refuses her words (1 Pet. 3:1-2). Therefore God, who joins husband and wife together, does not allow them to dissolve a marriage simply because it is hard.

Still, this subject deserves tender treatment. Like Abigail, many dear believers are also living in difficult marriages. We have no evidence in 1 Samuel 25 that Nabal physically harmed Abigail, but others have experienced physical abuse and live in daily fear. In that context it should be added that Abigail’s endurance does not prohibit an abused spouse from seeking a place of safety.

If you are enduring a difficult marriage, God knows your pain. He sees your tears. May He who reconciles sinners to Himself give you the blessing of a reconciled relationship. He is able!

Abigail’s Warning
As mentioned, we do not know how Abigail ended up in such an unequal marriage. Whatever the circumstances, her experience illustrates the difficulties and pain which inevitably accompany all such relationships. It is a warning to all who may be considering marriage with someone who does not share their spiritual foundation: “Do not be unequally yoked together with unbelievers” (2 Cor. 6:14). This applies to more than marriage, but perhaps its bitterest fruits have been tasted in that relationship. Even the godliest marriages have their challenges – but if a Christian disobeys God’s clear warning and marries an unbeliever, it should not be a surprise if grief and distress are the result.

You may believe that your good friend, even though an unbeliever, is at least nice enough to make a good marriage companion. In truth, however, if you marry the wrong person you will feel lonelier in your marriage than you ever might have felt when you were single. Do not test the Lord by marrying out of His will and then expecting Him to save your spouse. Let the warning of Abigail’s struggle and sorrow be a guidepost as you trust the Lord for any and all of your relationships.

Summary
When David was treated unjustly in 1 Samuel 25, his immediate reaction was to repay evil for evil. When Abigail intercepted him on the way, her grace and wisdom disarmed him. David realized that the Lord had sent Abigail, and he turned aside from his aggressive, angry path. Soon he also saw that the Lord, the righteous Judge, was able to setthings right in the best way possible.

In this account we should recognize that sometimes we are a David, and we need an Abigail to stop us in our tracks. On the other hand, sometimes we will have the opportunity to be an Abigail for someone. In such a case, may we depend on the heavenly grace and wisdom that can overcome evil with good.

Ultimately, Abigail’s grace, wisdom and endurance remind us of the Lord Jesus Christ. No one else displayed such perfection of character! As New Testament believers we read that God desires to see Christ formed in us (Gal. 4:19). May we all strive to live in such beauty of character.

By Stephen Campbell

The Galatian believers hardly realized they were spiritually alive. While trusting Christ, they were practically destitute of the inward, experimental knowledge of who and what He is. He had not been formed in them, that is, they had not comprehended His fullness for all their needs. They had given Him a place, but they had confined Him to a small place instead of allowing Him to take His full, true form in them. —Leslie M. Grant, “Comments On Galatians” (adapted).