Do You Have An Anger Problem?

Issues – September 2022 – Grace & Truth Magazine

Do You Have An Anger Problem?

“Be angry, and do not sin” (Eph. 4:26 NKJV ) is a guide for Christians to live by. However, this is impossible to maintain on a consistent basis by one’s own effort. It is only possible under the control of the Holy Spirit. Yes, even a non-believer can control his or her emotions to some degree, but there is always a breaking point where anger will bubble up over one’s self-empowered threshold. Unfortunately, this happens too often with Christians as well, when not in tune with the Lord.

An article by Oliver Burkeman on May 11, 2019 published by TheGuardian.com reported, “The best data we have suggests that, overall, we are indeed getting angrier. Last year [2018], 22% of respondents around the world told the Gallup organization they felt angry, a record since the question was first asked in 2006. And something else, even harder to measure, feels like it’s different as well: it’s as though our anger has curdled, gone rancid. As a society, we seem not to express it and move on, but to stew in it – until, at the extremes, it hardens into violence and hate.” Have things improved since 2019? We would answer with an emphatic, “No!”

What have we seen in these past few years? Here and abroad, people have protested with an accumulated anger, causing destruction, pillage and even loss of life. Built-up anger has led to massive unrest and attempts to overthrow governments.

Consider God’s Word
This is not a new phenomenon. Is this not what we should expect of the world? It should be remembered that the Gentile nations are described in Scripture as the restless seas (see Ps. 65:7; Isa. 17:12). The Lord is sovereign over all (Ps. 50:11; Ezek. 18:4; Dan. 4:34-35). Yet, He allows the nations to be controlled by the Devil – the one who said to our Lord regarding the kingdoms of the world, “All these things I will give You” (Mt. 4:9).

Consider further what the poll showed: “22% of respondents around the world told the Gallup organization they felt angry.” Did this number include Christians? It appears that Gallup did not make a distinction of beliefs. It is hoped that any believers included in the poll may have actually prevented the percentage from being higher than what was reported.

Sadly, it can be surmised that many Christians feel angry. Why else would the apostle Paul say, “Let all bitterness, wrath, anger, clamor, and evil speaking be put away from you, with all malice (Eph. 4:31). Peter said, “Therefore, laying aside all malice, all deceit, hypocrisy, envy, and all evil speaking” (1 Pet. 2:1). Note the word “malice.” Bible teacher and radio broadcaster J. Vernon McGee defined malice as “congealed anger.” It can grow into violence and hatred. If the Lord’s people were free of this emotion, the apostles Paul and Peter would not have had to make the statements they did.

But you may say, “The Lord Jesus expressed anger” (see Mk. 3:5; Jn. 2:13-17). Yes, He did. However, He was also true to the verse “Be angry, and do not sin.” Each of the Lord’s expressions of anger was, what people sometimes call, “righteous anger.”

While the Lord was in total control of His emotions at all times, can we say that about ourselves? Probably not! In fact, right from the beginning of the Church period, anger and malice were present within the Christian community. Paul in the first century already saw that brother was going to court against brother (1 Cor. 6:6), probably as a result of anger carried over to the next level of sinfulness. Who doesn’t know of some local church where anger has caused people to leave the place of worship or where this sin has triggered a split within the church community!

Some Practical Advice
Paul instructed believers to “put off all these: anger, wrath, malice …” (Col. 3:8). No doubt, there are some Christians who have a real problem with anger. They may excuse it by claiming that it is just part of their make-up. Others are of a different character and may not lose their temper as quickly, yet everyone gets angry at some time. Whether easily angered or more subdued, every believer must deal with the problem. How can this be done?

It would be easy just to say, “Trust in the Lord to help you control your anger.” Yes, that is the first place to start. As already stated, anger is impossible to control by one’s own effort. It is only possible under the control of the Holy Spirit. The closer we walk with the Lord and read His Word, the more likely we will be able to control our emotions rather than have them control us.

Here are some common-sense considerations that may be beneficial. If anyone has a real anger problem, and for those who may explode occasionally, these pointers may help:

1. Pray regularly that the Lord will help you deal with your anger. Call on Him if anger starts to build up: “Call upon Me in the day of trouble; I will deliver you, and you shall glorify Me” (Ps. 50:15).
2. When feeling that you are being unfairly treated by what God has allowed in your life, tell Him! This is what Job did. Ask Him for peace about the matter you are experiencing: “I will say to God, do not condemn me; show me why You contend with me” (Job 10:2).
3. If you are angry toward someone, start praying for him/her on a daily basis. Use 1 Corinthians 13 as your guide.
4. When you get angry but your anger has been contained within you, not having been expressed out loud, confess it only to the Lord. Ask Him to help you with your attitude about the individual or incident which raised your ire. “If we confess our sins, He is faithful and just to forgive us our sins and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness” (1 Jn. 1:9).
5. If you got angry at someone and have voiced your feelings to that person, confess it first to the Lord. Then seek to make things right as quickly as possible by confessing to that person your specific offense: “‘Be angry, and do not sin’: do not let the sun go down on your wrath” (Eph. 4:26).
6. If there is someone who regularly irritates you and it is impossible to resolve the issues that cause your recurring anger, avoid the sensitive subject with that person and if necessary, avoid the individual as much as possible. “Avoid foolish disputes … [and] contentions” (Ti. 3:9).
7. Should a person at work dangerously stir up your emotions, it might be possible to request management to address the situation, especially if the actions of that person may compromise the workplace. If it is not possible to resolve the conflicts, consider looking for another job: “As much as depends on you, live peaceably with all men” (Rom. 12:18).
8. For those having a serious anger problem, it may be good to find a mentor who can be completely honest with you. That person to whom you may turn can help you become accountable in this area, for “faithful are the wounds of a friend” (Prov. 27:6).
9. Where one may have an almost uncontrollable problem, it may be reasonable to consider an anger management program. While this is not the only answer to a person’s anger struggles (spiritual help is necessary), there can be assistance in counseling about means of control and identifying trigger points. “He who heeds counsel is wise” (12:15).

Do you, dear reader, not yet know the Lord as your Savior and Peacemaker? He can and will help you when you confess your sins to Him from a contrite heart and call upon His name unto salvation! “Whoever calls on the name of the Lord shall be saved” (Acts 2:21).

By G. H. B.

First Corinthians 13 NKJV Though I speak with the tongues of men and of angels, but have not love, I have become sounding brass or a clanging cymbal. And though I have the gift of prophecy, and understand all mysteries and all knowledge, and though I have all faith, so that I could remove mountains, but have not love, I am nothing. And though I bestow all my goods to feed the poor, and though I give my body to be burned, but have not love, it profits me nothing. Love suffers long and is kind; love does not envy; love does not parade itself, is not puffed up; does not behave rudely, does not seek its own, is not provoked, thinks no evil; does not rejoice in iniquity, but rejoices in the truth; bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things. Love never fails. But whether there are prophecies, they will fail; whether there are tongues, they will cease; whether there is knowledge, it will vanish away. For we know in part and we prophesy in part. But when that which is perfect has come, then that which is in part will be done away. When I was a child, I spoke as a child, I understood as a child, I thought as a child; but when I became a man, I put away childish things. For now we see in a mirror, dimly, but then face to face. Now I know in part, but then I shall know just as I also am known. And now abide faith, hope, love, these three; but the greatest of these is love.