The Time Of Your Life

Feature 1 – July/August 2022 – Grace & Truth Magazine

The Time Of Your Life

The science of chemistry offers some fascinating insights about the natural world. One interesting area is the subject of chemical precipitation, which can occur when two liquids are mixed together. Certain types of chemical mixtures react in such a way that part of the new mixture changes to a solid form. That solid then falls, or precipitates, to the bottom of the container.

These reactions can be commercially valuable to scientists and researchers. But the idea of mixing things together and then watching particles fall to the bottom can also be a useful image of what it is like to be a teenager.

A Time Like No Other
If you are a Christian between the ages of 10 and 19, you fit the general definition of a Christian adolescent. This article is written with you in mind – although there will be a section for your parents, too – as you travel through this decade of your life.

It is a time like no other. You began these years in grade school, learning about nouns, verbs and fractions; and you will likely end as a skilled worker or a university student who can lead people, create art, analyze situations, and solve the important problems of your time. The processing power of your brain will increase remarkably. Your social network will shift and expand. The opportunities for independence, exploration and innovation will perhaps astonish you.

At the same time you will likely face sorrows you never imagined, decisions you never wanted, temptations you never expected, and rejections you never saw coming. Things you felt would be part of your life forever will fall away, some gradually and others suddenly. As in the chemistry example above, some parts of your younger self will precipitate to the bottom. There just is no way to contain everything within the mixture of life that is stirred together during the adolescent years.

In the midst of this wonderful, difficult time, God is there. He has always specialized in using available people of any age. For example, the prophet Samuel first had a conversation with God when he was possibly not much older than 5 or 6 (1 Sam. 3); the priest Jehoiada was still a spiritual advisor to the king when he died at the age of 130 (2 Chr. 24:15); and men and women of all ages in between have been useful to the Lord. Therefore, it should not be surprising that He wants to use you! Don’t say, “It can’t be me” or, “Maybe one day.” Why can’t it be you? Why not now?

A New Point Of View
One of the most significant developments in these years of life is an increased awareness of who you are and what your purpose might be in the larger world around you. Instead of considering only the obvious details right in front of you, your mind is able to ponder more abstract questions about fairness, morality and the principles which guide human behavior. Therefore, along with that typical growth in your ability to think and analyze, this period of life is an excellent and important time to grow in the knowledge of biblical principles as well.

This kind of personal growth is the point of Psalm 119:9. That verse is often mentioned at Bible camps or youth programs, but its actual meaning may be misunderstood because it is frequently explained with a slight error in wording. The verse asks, “How can a young man cleanse his way?” and then provides its own response: “By taking heed according to Your word” (NKJV). Notice how the verse is presented. It does not exhort young people to take heed to God’s Word – a common misquotation – but according to God’s Word. The point of the verse is that we should assess and then cleanse our way (“taking heed”) by applying (“according to”) the principles of the Scriptures.

Of course, it is also correct to say we should give heed to the Word of God itself! But Psalm 119:9 emphasizes the process of applying the Word of God, which is an essential aspect of spiritual growth. We will face many situations which are not specifically described in the Bible. However, there will always be principles in God’s Word to help us make good and wise decisions.

In addition, it’s important at this stage of life to develop your understanding of major Bible doctrines. Learn what it means to be justified, sanctified and redeemed; understand the broad plan of God for the world as seen in past and future events; and most of all, develop an appreciation of the person and work of the Savior, the Lord Jesus Christ. God intends to conform us to the image of His Son, so we should want to know what He was like on earth and what He is doing in heaven now.

Further, it’s valuable to search out answers about why Christians believe as we do. Why do we say the Bible is reliable? What makes us certain that God created the world? Why should we trust in the resurrection of Jesus Christ? Having faith will establish us in these beliefs, but the Scriptures also tell us to be ready to give an answer to those who ask about our hope (1 Pet. 3:15). There are answers for those who doubt, and we can have certainty about the things which Christians have believed ever since the 1st century (Lk. 1:1; Jude 3).

A New Set Of Challenges
Along with learning new viewpoints, there will also be new challenges. One of them is money. In many ways money is a test of godliness for believers of any age. This test often has roots in the adolescent years, when your pocket might have more money because of a part-time job or some other reason. You will have more choices about places to go and activities to enjoy. Many of these may be fine by themselves, but it’s important to apply some biblical principles about money.

First, the love of money always leads to sin and sorrow. A person does not have to be rich to fall into this snare; many who have very little in this world are still lovers of money. Guard your heart from this danger. There is a godly way to plan for a career, a home, and the necessary things of life while still being content with what you have at every stage (1 Tim. 6:6-11).

Second, remember that money has purposes beyond today. Plan to spend only a small portion of what you receive as a teenager and to save as much as you can for bigger expenses to come. The Bible encourages this (Prov. 6:6-8, 21:20), and you will be surprised by how quickly money can be spent! In addition, use your money for spiritual purposes, not just personal plans. God’s work in the world requires not only time but also money, and Christian giving provides many opportunities to be part of what the Lord is doing (Lk. 12:33-34). This biblical practice begins with a weekly contribution to your local gathering of believers and extends to any need which you feel the Lord wants you to support (1 Cor. 16:2; Ti. 3:14). In short, be a saver, not a spender; and be a giver, not a taker.

Another challenge comes in the area of relationships and moral behavior. During this time of life your social network becomes more important, and close relationships become more influential. All around you people will emphasize the idea of spending time together as boyfriends and girlfriends. The attraction of those relationships can feel very strong, and indeed God has designed those emotions and attractions to grow during this time of life. Yet it’s important to realize that if sins are committed in these relationships, there can be lasting damage to your soul. As the Proverbs say, it’s impossible to pick up hot coals without being burned (6:27; consider 1 Cor. 6:18).

The Scriptures warn us about all sides of this issue. There are wicked men and immoral women who present convincing temptations. Their invitations focus only on enjoying the moment, never mentioning the later consequences. One Bible passage describes a seductive woman who promises, “Stolen water is sweet, and bread eaten in secret is pleasant”; yet she never admits that “her guests are in the depths of hell” (Prov. 9:17-18). In our natural attraction to those temptations we should recognize that the Spirit of God desires to lead us away from them (Gal. 5:17; Jas. 4:4-5). If God is warning us against something, it is very wise to listen!

There is also a point to make about long-term relationships. Different families look at the practice of dating in different ways, but regardless of perspective we can affirm this: If you are considering a deep, long-term relationship with a person of the opposite sex, it should only be with someone who, before the Lord, you could plan to marry. This does not mean that close friendships lead to marriage in every case; but it does mean we should reserve that kind of relationship for the time when we are thinking about marriage. It is unwise to expend that sort of spiritual and emotional energy on relationships which are only casual and temporary, and can cause long-lasting hurt for those involved.

A New Independence
Amid these challenging transitions of life, perhaps none will be more stressful than the increasing independence you will want to have from your parents. This is another God-given desire which allows you to grow during adolescence, by making more decisions and developing greater responsibility. Therefore the desire for independence is good. But remember that growing birds have wings long before they are completely ready to fly. Much of the tension you might feel with your parents arises because, as a teenager, you still are in need of more experience and more wisdom. Naturally, this can be difficult to realize at the moment.

It might help to remember that, even if you have older siblings, your parents never had you before. If your parents are Christians they are likely asking the Lord for wisdom as you go through each unique year of your adolescent life. If they make decisions you do not agree with, remember that they are trying to honor the Lord by training and nurturing you, raising you in the fear and guidance that comes from Him (Eph. 6:4).

Remember that God holds parents accountable if they let you do whatever you want. Godly men like Eli and Samuel faced the grief of knowing that their children did not follow the Lord. In Eli’s case, God actually said he had honored his sons more than Him, by not stopping them in their evil ways (1 Sam. 2:29, consider 8:1-5). Give your parents the space to carry out their responsibility as they guide you in this stage of life. There is a way to disagree with them without sinning by dishonoring them, for even the Lord Jesus had that experience in His adolescent years (Lk. 2:48-51).

The Parent Section
Since most readers of this magazine are adults, it is worth adding a few thoughts here for parents. If you have very young children, this is the perfect time to start planning for their teenage years. The Scriptures tell parents to train our children (Prov. 22:6), which implies the early stages of life. It is essential to teach children to obey. When you tell them “No” or “Stop,” even at the ages of 1, 2 and 3 years old, you must show that you mean it. If you tell them, “Come here,” and they ignore you, go get them!

Do not be afraid of a crying child or an angry teenager. Your determination and consistency in active parenting, with appropriate consequences, will be an investment in your future relationship. If children believe they can do what they want when they are only 5 or 8 years old, your life will be incredibly difficult when they are 15 or 18. If boundaries have not been established yet, start now. It may be hard, but the effort of parenting today is always better than empty desires for tomorrow.

Along with training, there must be love and relationship. Parents are not to act as army captains or royal monarchs over their children. We are not commanding subordinates but guiding children. The child training spoken of in the Bible is like the work of a gardener who helps plants grow (Ps. 128:3), not that of a lion tamer who whips animals into shape. An important saying is: “Rules without relationship equals rebellion.” Be firm with limits and restrictions; instruct, correct and advise; but also nurture, love, protect and encourage. Provide teenagers with the wisdom they need even if they don’t think they need it (they do); and provide the love they need even if they don’t seem to want it (they do).

A New Day Ahead
Teenagers, your life is ahead of you! One option is to live any way you like, and the Bible actually gives you permission to do that if you choose. “Let your heart cheer you in the days of your youth,” it says! However, the verse continues with a reminder of future consequences; if you simply follow your own heart and eyes, then “for all these God will bring you into judgment” (Eccl. 11:9).

The other way to live is to realize that God can use the initiative and drive of your teen years and your 20s to do great things. Daniel was young when he made the decision to live for the LORD, and as a result he later guided an emperor to trust the God of heaven (Dan. 1–4). Jehosheba was young when she rescued a baby from a murdering queen, preserving the family of David and ultimately the lineage of the Messiah (2 Ki. 11). Jeremiah was young when God gave him a message for his neighbors and for kings (Jer. 1). Ruth was young when she supported Naomi by heading out to work (Ruth 2). Timothy was young when he went on a missions trip (Acts 16). Mary was young when she left home with Joseph and headed to Bethlehem (Lk. 2).

The chemistry example at the beginning of this article described mixing two liquids and observing the results. In truth, your adolescent years will be formed by combining many more than two sources. Many mixtures will be created over the years, and some of the things you once cherished will indeed precipitate out of the mixture and fall to the wayside. But God has His eyes on you! He is the great Chemist of our lives, adding some of this and some of that in order to make each of us into men and women whose hearts are fully His.

By Stephen Campbell