“Our neighbors are promoting immorality. How should I respond?”

March 2020 – Grace & Truth Magazine

QUESTION: Our neighbors are promoting immorality by flags and other things outside their house. How should I respond? How can I talk to my young children about what they see?

ANSWER:We sympathize with you in your problem, a problem faced by many Christian parents who desire to bring up their children “in the training and admonition of the Lord” (Eph. 6:4 NKJV).

Ever since our first parents sinned, mankind has been on a downhill track. The first verses of 2 Timothy 3 warn us that “in the last days perilous times will come” (v.1). The second half of Romans 1 points out that although people “knew God, they did not glorify Him as God, nor were thankful, but became futile in their thoughts, and their foolish hearts were darkened” (v.21). The chapter goes on to describe how idolatry developed, and how sexual immorality went hand in hand with idolatry. We go on to read in verses 28-31: “Even as they did not like to retain God in their knowledge, God gave them over to a debased mind, to do those things which are not fitting; being filled with all unrighteousness, sexual immorality, wickedness” and a long list of other wicked things. The chapter ends by pointing out that people, “knowing the righteous judgment of God, that those who practice such things are deserving of death, not only do the same but also approve of those who practice them” (v.32).

This is the world in which we live and what your neighbors are promoting. Furthermore, these things are being taught and promoted in many school systems and by many governmental agencies. What God calls evil, man calls good; and what God calls good, man calls evil! Such is today’s world, especially the Western world of North America and Europe. This world we cannot change.

But how to respond to what your neighbors are doing is your question. Scripture tells us to love our neighbor as we love ourselves (Mt. 22:39). This is not easy or natural, but we can certainly look to the Lord to help us do what He has commanded. Remember, whether they believe it or even know it, your neighbors are people for whom our Lord Jesus died on Calvary. They are people whom He would prefer to save and have with Him for eternity rather than eventually have to send to hell forever. Are they at all aware of this? Have they ever been approached with the message of salvation? By being a good neighbor, kind and showing an interest in them, you may have an opportunity to share your faith and Savior with them. Don’t try to ram Him down their throats, as it were, but pray for them. Ask the Lord to make you sensitive to their needs and be ready to seize whatever opportunity He may give you. Remember, according to Romans 2:4, “the goodness of God leads ... to repentance.” While our holy God hates sin absolutely, He does not hate the sinner. Rather, in His great love He gave His only begotten Son to die for sinners.

As to your question about how to talk to your young children about what they see, Romans 16:19 lays down a good principle to keep in mind: “I want you to be wise in what is good, and simple concerning evil.” Read the Bible with your children, acquainting them with the Lord Jesus and His love, with God and His love, with the many good examples of men and women who pleased God as well as with some of the examples of those who did not please God. Pray for your children’s salvation and seek to introduce them to the Savior, our Lord Jesus Christ. Fill their minds as early as possible with that which is good, that which pleases the Lord. If they are very young and notice the flag and think the colors are pretty, don’t immediately try to go into the wickedness for which it stands. The flag may be pretty, but a young child may initially not have to know more than that it shows that these neighbors like something that the Lord Jesus does not like.

As the child grows older and goes to school, especially if it is a public school, watch what its textbooks teach and promote. If these promote the immoral things that are becoming more and more prevalent and accepted in the world, a discussion with the teacher, school principal or school authorities may be in order. Make plain what you stand for – the principles of God’s Word – and that this is what you are teaching your child in the family, and you do not want your child taught what is contrary to these principles. May the Lord guide you in any further steps you may have to take to shield your child from the prevailing immorality and openly sanctioned wickedness of the world in which we live.

Remember too what God says in Isaiah 42:1-2 about the One whom He calls “My Servant” and “My Elect One”: “He will not cry out, nor raise His voice, nor cause His voice to be heard in the streets.” Matthew 12:18-21 applies these verses to the Lord Jesus, who is the Divine Example for us to follow. He never joined any groups to demonstrate nor sent in petitions against the evils of the day during His life on earth – and there certainly was no shortage of evil then! Yet, the Gospels show He made His position abundantly clear.

As your children grow older your task will not be any lighter. The media is complicit, or has chosen to be involved, in promoting many immoral, ungodly things. Advertisements are often more dangerous in this regard than some of the programs those companies and organizations sponsor. Programs geared to children are being used as tools to promote standards that are contrary to Scripture. Do not use them as babysitters! If you permit your children to watch programs, watch them with your children and then use the programs as teaching tools. Better yet, read the Bible and worthwhile books to your children and discuss their contents with them.

Thank God that He gives your children to you during their early formative years! The example of Moses is a good one. God used the teaching Moses got in his earliest youth to eventually counter all that he was taught in Pharaoh’s palace. The earlier your children come to know and love the Lord Jesus, the sooner they will be indwelt by the Holy Spirit who is on your side in coveting your children for the Lord. When children are saved it becomes easier, in a sense, to bring them up for the Lord and to warn them against the wickedness of the world and its devices.

For a young child to know that something is wicked and displeasing to the Lord may well be enough for a while. More explanation may become appropriate as the child grows older and wants to know why the flag you mentioned, or whatever it may be, is wrong. Each child is a unique individual for whom you need the Lord’s special help and guidance. As a general principle, be clear and open with your child and his/her questions, but do not go into detail about evil any more than is needed.

Above all, be much in prayer for your children and pray with them too. Ask the Lord for wisdom and guidance for yourself as their parent. James 1:5-8 is a great encouragement on the subject of asking for wisdom. May the Lord in His great mercy help you to bring up your children for Him!

Answered by Eugene P. Vedder, Jr.